Day 4: A timer of fifteen minutes to pour out my soul

A timed fifteen minutes to pour out my soul. My soul? The deepest part of me? The part only God can really see. The desires, cravings, the loving things; even I don’t know what is there. I feel like my soul is like the waves in a sea. Sometimes it is quiet and breaks on the shore in a tempered mode and other times it is raging and wild like a tsunami coming up from the depths of me. And it is all a reflection of what is going on at the time. What and who is influencing me. And the desire of my heart is that I would never have it out of control. Procrastination and interruption keep me from getting things done. Management is not my inheritance, nor shall I leave it to my children. It is a constant reconstructing of my brain. It is exhausting to my soul. I love to be eclectic, but probably because I have not the wherewithal to know what coordinates. So then anything goes with anything and I can call it art and creativity. I can learn to fake anything. But to be honest and forthright, that is my life’s challenge and I am always chasing it. So the timer can be a friend I see. It doesn’t give my brain any choice.

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